My question is simple. So you have a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other. It's only a small fight but it ends rather badly, with him telling you to fuck off and hanging up on you. How long do you wait for him to come and speak to you and apologise before you just give up on him. It's been 45 hours. And I just think that if he cared for me at all he would have come to see me before now. Maybe it's just wishful thinking. He's got an exam tomorrow so he's probably studying now and I understand that but it would only take 15 minutes for him to walk down stairs and say something to me, anything. And I know what you're thinking, why don't I just make the first move and go to see him? Well because I did that last time, and the time before, and the time before that, and I want to be reassured that he actually does want to make it right between us for once, And + he was the drunken one who told me to fuck off. I'm thinking I deserve an apology.
The girls on my floor are going out for dinner for Liz's birthday tonight. I told them I wasn't going to come but maybe I should. It would certainly be better than lying here on my bed, in my pretty skirt, blogging to imaginary people and watching episode after episode of prison break. I know. I'm depressing. Maybe i'll do some study.
Since he's got an exam tomorrow i'll give him 72 hours from the fight to come and find me before I give up on the whole thing. It's plenty of time, probably too much. If he hasn't made an effort by then i'm gonna forget the whole thing ever happened, all of it.
08 November 2006
* Nodirt. Undirty. *
I know this blog is getting rather empty, and I apologise for that fact. But the boys at uni - hello boys - were devious, or rather I was not as secretive as I should have been, and they found my little hideaway. So i've practiced some self-control and stopped writing as much as I used to. From now on there will be no juicy gossip, sorry kids. But I do hope to keep my audience with other interesting facts that I will find randomly.
Meh scrap that.
These idiots from my Res have decided that today is the right afternoon for a hang out session in the courtyard, they're playing music and cheering and making me secretly hate them for annoying me. Argh. It's not their fault. I've been in a terrible mood since my exam yesterday. It was my stats exam, my favourite subject, the one i was hoping for a HD for. Well i'm thinking more along the lines of a high pass or credit right about now. I feel like (excuse the gilmore girls reference, i know it's corny but it seems to fit) Lorelai when she lost her relationship with snow. And I'm disappointed in myself for not making more of an effort and knowing that I could do better. And I'm blaming everything around me for distracting me and myself for letting me be distracted. I'm in a spiral of self-loathing at the moment.
Topped off by a fight with my boyfriend last night. Not gonna go into it but I haven't seen him since he told me to fuck off and i'm waiting for him to come find me and apologise. Actually I think that's too high a goal, i'll be happy if he just comes to find me and talk. It's been 22.5 hours. Should we take bets on how long it's going to take? I feel like it's me making the first move everytime we fight, and everytime we talk after the fight it somehow turns out to be my fault. It's starting to get to me.
Believe it or not the fight has made me annoyed and upset but it's the exam failure that's going to make me cry right about now. Well, if I was in the mood for it. I choose not to. So i'm not going to.
Fuck I love typing. Something about the rhythm is fantastic. I just wish I could type something interesting rather than this blather.
Had a Radio meeting today. I'm on the executive committee which means i've got a load of responsibility and I really didn't want it. But I'm sticking with it and i'm going to try because it's about time I gave something a go. I'm the person who hides. And at some point I should stop and try. And these people are nice and are willing to give me a go and i've already gotten myself into the middle of this so I might as well take it and run with it. Not from it.
Listening to Kelly Clarkson. She was on in the bathroom so I thought i'd put her CD in when I got back to my room. On a Prison Break craze at the moment. Three episodes left in season 1 before I start season 2. Got 9 eps of that and Damian has episode 10 so I could get that from him at some point. Finished Dr Who season 2. The last episodes were really sad. But my computer and IPOD are full of stuff so I bought some DVDs to put my stuff on, and i think it's about time I recognised the technology and bought myself one of those sticky things you put in the USB port that have lots of space in them even though they are very small. :)
Wow a smile. Believe it or not you didn't get one in real life. You got a typed one. I wasn't actually smiling when I typed that. Now I feel like a fake. I apologise.
Going to Caitlin's for drinks tonight, still off the alcohol so it's creaming soda for me all the way. Wow. It's only a month since my birthday. Really weird. I thought it was a lot longer. Darnit. That means i've only been sober for three weeks. I thought it was longer. But you can hardly count that 5mm i had when the kids came up. And before that i've been sober for a couple of weeks (i think).
My parents are saying no alcohol but i'm all healthy now, although the headaches are hanging around (every day, for about half the day), but that could quite possibly be a stress thing.
It's getting emptier around here. Jeremy left this morning, Caitlin and Matthew are leaving on Friday. Damian's going home for the weekend and then coming back to pick up his stuff mid next week. I'm here till next Saturday. It's not like i've got anything pressing to do when I get home anyway. Want to go swimming. Want to see my friends. Want to dye my hair blue again. maybe i'll spend my birthday money on that. Nah.
I think I might have a bit of a nap until I go to Caitlins. Hope this post was something to keep my wonderful readers going, sorry it's not much.
My Photo Album
"Having lunch in a park in Zealand"
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"Glacier Climbing in NZ"
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"Jet Boating with the family in NZ"
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"Making a card tower on the ferry crossing in NZ"
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"The Soda Fountain"
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"Hole in the Rock"
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"Old Cromwell Town"
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"On top of Franz Josef Glacier"
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"Kiss for the Rock'n'Roll Gender Bender"
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"Heaven'n'Hell - Chev, Alicia and John"
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"Heaven'n'Hell - Alicia and Me"
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"Heaven'n'Hell - Marissa"
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"Heaven'n'Hell - Phillllllliiiiippp"
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"Heaven'n'Hell - Timmy"
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"Heaven'n'Hell - John John"
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"Heaven'n'Hell - Another John"
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"Ghost Drop Girls"
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"Lounging around @ SusSEX"
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"Rosie Hammocking"
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"Kath fell asleep in the sunshine"
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"Caitlin's Bday @ Moose"
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"The boys bonding"
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"Caitlin & Matthew"
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"The family @ Mitch's 21st"
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"Case & I @ Op Shop '06"
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"The boys visiting Berra"
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"Chicken & his Daddy watching the footy"
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"Drunk on Midori"
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"Boring Bar Night"
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"Caitlin and Me at the Bar"
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"Ressies Ball '06"
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"P-top common room"
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"Mitchie's Graduation!!"
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"The 'rents were so proud"
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"Smiling Faces"
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"Kath's first visit @ the bus stop"
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"Damo's Birthday Dinner '06"
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"Yummy Yummy Yummy Pasta"
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"Caitlin Snorting"
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"John & Diane @ Moose"
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"Traffic Light Party"
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"Moustache Men"
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"Pizza Boy"
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"I tried to eat Caitlin's ear"
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"Johnny Boy"
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"Checkers after I.Love"
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"P.A.D"
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"Ben & Timmy"
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Tunes to keep you busy
A Quick Wilson Quiz
"You can't stop the beat" - Hairspray
TRACY
You cant stop an avalanche
As it races down the hill
You can try to stop the seasons, girl
But ya know you never will
And you can try to stop my dancin' feet
But i just cannot stand still
Cause the world keeps spinnin'
Round and round
And my heart's keeping time
To the speed of sound
I was lost til i heard the drums
Then i found my way
TRACY & LINK
Cause you can't stop the beat
Ever since this old world began
A woman found out if she shook it
She could shake up a man
And so i'm gonna shake and shimmy it
The best that i can today
'Cause you cant stop
The motion of the ocean
Or the sun in the sky
You can wonder if you wanna
But i never ask why
And if you try to hold me down
I'm gonna spit in your eye and say
That you cant stop the beat!
PENNY
You can't stop a river
As it rushes to the sea
SEAWEED
You can try and stop the hands of time
But ya know it just can't be
PENNY
And if they try to stop us, Seaweed,
I'll call the N Double A C P
Cause the world keeps spinning
Round and 'round
And my heart's keeping time
To the speed of sound
I was lost til i heard the drums
Then i found my way
PENNY & SEAWEED
Cause you can't stop the beat
PENNY & SEAWEED
Ever since we first saw the light
A man and woman liked to shake it
On a saturday night
And so i'm gonna shake and shimmy it
With all my might today
'Cause you cant stop
The motion of the ocean
Or the rain from above
You can try to stop the paradise
What I'm dreamin' of
But you cannot stop the rhythm
Of two hearts in love to stay
Cause you cant stop the beat!
EDNA
You cant stop my happiness
Cause i like the way i am
And you just can't stop my knife and fork
When i see a christmas ham
So if you don't like the way i look
Well, i |ust don't give a damn!
EDNA & ENSEMBLE
Cause the world keeps spinning
Round and 'round
And my heart's keeping time
To the speed of sound
I was lost til i heard the drums
Then i found my way
EDNA & COMPANY
'Cause you cant stop the beat
Ever since this old world began
A woman found out if she shook it
She could shake up a man
And so i'm gonna shake and shimmy it
The best that i can today
Cause you cant stop
The motion of the ocean
Or the sun in the sky
You can wonder if you wanna
But i never ask why
And if you try to hold me down
I'm gonna spit in your eye and say
That you cant stop the beat!
MOTORMOUTH
Oh oh oh
You can't stop today
As it comes speeding down the track
Child, yesterday is hist'ry
And it's never coming back
MOTORMOUTH & ENSEMBLE
'Cause tomorrow is a brand new day
MOTORMOUTH
And it don't know white from black
ENSEMBLE
Yeah!
MOTORMOUTH & ENSEMBLE
'Cause the world keeps spinning
'Round and 'round
And my heart's keeping time
To the speed of sound
I was lost til i heard the drums
Then i found my way
'Cause you cant stop the beat
ALL
Ever since we first saw the light
A man and woman liked to shake it
On a saturday night
And so i'm gonna shake and shimmy it
With all my might today
'Cause you can't stop
The motion of the ocean
Or the rain from above
They can try to stop ths paradise
We're dreaming of
But you cannot stop the rhythm
Of two hearts in love to stay
You can't stop the beat!
Aah, aah, aah
Aah, aah, aah
Aah, aah, aah
ALL
Ever since we first saw the sun
A man and woman like to shake it when the day is done
But we're gonna shake and shimmy it
And have some fun
For today!
ALL
Cause you can't stop
The motion of the ocean
Or the rain from above
You can try to stop the paradise
We're dreaming of
But you cannot stop the rhythm
Of two hearts in love to stay
'Cause you can't stop the beat!
You can't stop the beat!!
You can't stop the beat!!
You can't stop the beat!!
You can't stop the beat!!
my name is wilson
I'm one of those people who prefers to be out the back of the shoe store packing away boxes and ordering shoes rather than serving customers. I'm allergic to nothing and yet
I avoid things that i'm not used to. I fell in love once and to be loved is the most wonderful feeling in the entire world. I hold on to stereotypes of myself from years
ago not realising how much i've changed. I've taken two steps toward being independent but am nowhere near the stage most people are at my age. I crave attention but at
the same time hate getting it. I like my privacy and my space and miss having a big backyard to wander in. I want to do everything but make no effort to do anything
and then complain about it. I love to laugh and to make other people laugh at me. I can't stand being serious or when somebody else is crying and I can't do anything
to make them feel better. I want to be held when I cry. I want to be spoilt and to lie in bed forever with someone who i've given my heart to.
