13 May 2007
* Kath is: still having a crap life. Via Facebook. *
Still thinking about Casey,
So if you count our relationship officially we dated for a day under 7 months. Counting realistically, we were in some sort of relationship with each other for a week under 14 months. Maybe that's why i've been falling apart these past two weeks. Not handing in assignments even after they're due, not studying for tests, not going to classes, hanging out with friends as much as possible to prevent being alone and having to do work, watching massive amounts of tv shows off the network, staying up late, messaging people around the clock, forgetting to post mum a present for mothers day, shirking responsibility. I really don't feel like me anymore, don't know what happened to me, i've felt different for a while now, all year i think. Sure i changed somewhat last year by moving away, but this year i've changed so much, it's starting to worry me who i've become.
I really need a holiday, i want to go home like crazy but i can't during the week and i have so much work that its just not practical to spent 5 and a half hours on buses each way to see my family for two days.
It's almost 2pm and i'm still in bed, woke up at about 12 because i stayed up till 2am for no real reason, i was exhausted but i didn't feel like going to sleep. I really have to study for my test on wednesday and work on my presentation for thursday and my tute work for tuesday and thursday but i dont reckon i'll get much of it done, i mean i could get it done, but i probably wont.
I met Casey on the wednesday of O week last year, that was the week before classes started. So this is the first time i've ever felt completely alone on rez. I mean yeah i have great friends who are kinda-ish looking after me by visiting, and i got half a hug from john two weeks ago. There's this part on Gilmore Girls (omg i cant believe im making a gilmore girls reference, i feel utterly crap, but it fits) where Lorelai has just broken up with Luke and she's doing really badly and she calls him and leaves a message on his phone where she actually says that he's her best friend and this is the time that her best friend should come over the see if she's okay and he comes over to see if she's okay. Casey knows everything about me, even the crappy old stuff that nobody else her in berra knows, he knows me better than anyone and for some reason he fell in love with me. I can't believe it. I don't know why I have any friends let alone someone who loves me.
I want to talk to him like crazy, but I could never call him because this needs to be a clean break, especially with him maybe coming back to live in the building next semester. And it was me who did the breaking, so I have no right to ask for anything from him.
So I know it's been a while since i've properly blogged, but that's because i've been going through this, and I really feel like dropping out of Uni, or changing me degree because business degrees completely suck, and doing something more interesting, like travelling or writing or learning to draw, or taking photographs or designing web pages or writing music, or working at a hotel or a cafe or learning Japanese or learning how to cook properly, or opening a shoe store in australia that sells shoes separately so you can buy different sizes for each foot, or joining a netball team again (omg I miss sport completely) or learning how to trade on the stock exchange properly or learning how to make my own clothes or anything.
Instead i'm going to open up DC++ and download random television episodes of random television shows until i am completely busting to go to the bathroom because i dont want to walk through the common room and see people. And I think i shall have pasta for lunch/breakfast.
"You can't stop the beat" - Hairspray
TRACY
You cant stop an avalanche
As it races down the hill
You can try to stop the seasons, girl
But ya know you never will
And you can try to stop my dancin' feet
But i just cannot stand still
Cause the world keeps spinnin'
Round and round
And my heart's keeping time
To the speed of sound
I was lost til i heard the drums
Then i found my way
TRACY & LINK
Cause you can't stop the beat
Ever since this old world began
A woman found out if she shook it
She could shake up a man
And so i'm gonna shake and shimmy it
The best that i can today
'Cause you cant stop
The motion of the ocean
Or the sun in the sky
You can wonder if you wanna
But i never ask why
And if you try to hold me down
I'm gonna spit in your eye and say
That you cant stop the beat!
PENNY
You can't stop a river
As it rushes to the sea
SEAWEED
You can try and stop the hands of time
But ya know it just can't be
PENNY
And if they try to stop us, Seaweed,
I'll call the N Double A C P
Cause the world keeps spinning
Round and 'round
And my heart's keeping time
To the speed of sound
I was lost til i heard the drums
Then i found my way
PENNY & SEAWEED
Cause you can't stop the beat
PENNY & SEAWEED
Ever since we first saw the light
A man and woman liked to shake it
On a saturday night
And so i'm gonna shake and shimmy it
With all my might today
'Cause you cant stop
The motion of the ocean
Or the rain from above
You can try to stop the paradise
What I'm dreamin' of
But you cannot stop the rhythm
Of two hearts in love to stay
Cause you cant stop the beat!
EDNA
You cant stop my happiness
Cause i like the way i am
And you just can't stop my knife and fork
When i see a christmas ham
So if you don't like the way i look
Well, i |ust don't give a damn!
EDNA & ENSEMBLE
Cause the world keeps spinning
Round and 'round
And my heart's keeping time
To the speed of sound
I was lost til i heard the drums
Then i found my way
EDNA & COMPANY
'Cause you cant stop the beat
Ever since this old world began
A woman found out if she shook it
She could shake up a man
And so i'm gonna shake and shimmy it
The best that i can today
Cause you cant stop
The motion of the ocean
Or the sun in the sky
You can wonder if you wanna
But i never ask why
And if you try to hold me down
I'm gonna spit in your eye and say
That you cant stop the beat!
MOTORMOUTH
Oh oh oh
You can't stop today
As it comes speeding down the track
Child, yesterday is hist'ry
And it's never coming back
MOTORMOUTH & ENSEMBLE
'Cause tomorrow is a brand new day
MOTORMOUTH
And it don't know white from black
ENSEMBLE
Yeah!
MOTORMOUTH & ENSEMBLE
'Cause the world keeps spinning
'Round and 'round
And my heart's keeping time
To the speed of sound
I was lost til i heard the drums
Then i found my way
'Cause you cant stop the beat
ALL
Ever since we first saw the light
A man and woman liked to shake it
On a saturday night
And so i'm gonna shake and shimmy it
With all my might today
'Cause you can't stop
The motion of the ocean
Or the rain from above
They can try to stop ths paradise
We're dreaming of
But you cannot stop the rhythm
Of two hearts in love to stay
You can't stop the beat!
Aah, aah, aah
Aah, aah, aah
Aah, aah, aah
ALL
Ever since we first saw the sun
A man and woman like to shake it when the day is done
But we're gonna shake and shimmy it
And have some fun
For today!
ALL
Cause you can't stop
The motion of the ocean
Or the rain from above
You can try to stop the paradise
We're dreaming of
But you cannot stop the rhythm
Of two hearts in love to stay
'Cause you can't stop the beat!
You can't stop the beat!!
You can't stop the beat!!
You can't stop the beat!!
You can't stop the beat!!
